You get what you ask for

I belong to a baby message board for moms of kiddos born in December 2009 (when Little Man was actually due) and September 2010. I have learned alot from the ladies on this board. The most important thing is that when you ask a question, your going to get an answer. From these answers I have also learned that I am a terrible mother.

How can I be a terrible mom with 2 1/3 healthy, happy children? I will tell you....in no particular order, many of the reasons I and others have been ripped apart by the "perfect" mothers of the world:
-I eat deli meat, often times with mayo
-I feed my son formula (aka as rat posion)
-I use a bumper in the kiddos cribs
-I let my kiddo CIO (cry it out)
-I dont measure each and every ounce of food that Little Man eat.
-I drink caffiene. Mt. Dew to be specific.
-I sleep on my stomach (when possible). Or at least how I am most comfortable but apparently I should be sleeping on my left side. Or maybe the right.
-I dont wash baby clothes in "special detergent" - I am only SEMI bad in this catagory...I did at first, but now that its run out, I use regular detergent.
-I ride horses, ski, snowmobile, go to football games and have FUN when I am pregnant. Or try to at least.
-I have no problem leaving my children with my very capable family, so that hubby and I can have sometime to ourselves.
-I take my infants outside well before the 6 weeks recommendation....and much sooner then the one lady who hasnt left her house in the 4 months since her child was born.
-I trust my husband to take care of the kiddos. This one really makes me sad...I cant imagine not trusting my husband alone with OUR kids. I didnt know what I was doing when Stinkerbell was born and people left me alone to figure it out. How is it any different for the guys?"
-I take my babies into a bar (lol....gotta know where I live to understand this one :-)
-I dont make people sanitize their hands before holding my kiddos.
-My daughter drinks soda and eats candy.
-I drink soda and eat candy.
-I dared to put my 4mth old on an airplane!! THEN I did it again at 6mths and will again at 8mths. In November I will put my 1 year old and 1 month old on an airplane.
-I take medication to help with my post partum depression that starts during my pregnancies. Apparently if I cut out caffiene and visualize a happy place, that will make it all better. I dont think we should talk about what happens to me when I cut out caffiene....lets just say its better for all involved if I drink the Mt. Dew.
-I dont enjoy being pregnant
-I am not supportive of the need for "pregnancy photos".
-I follow my babies leads more then the American Academy of Pediatrics "recommendations".
-I use a family physician....not a pediatrician or an OB. Same doc all rolled into one. I trust him completely.
-I use a doctor, not a doula or midwife. And I am perfectly OK with medications during pregnancy.
-I dont understand the concept of home births, water births or silent births. At the sametime, the people on the boards who participate in those methods cant understand why I would want my child born into a "harsh instituion". That would be the hospital.
-My children will not be in the room when Baby #3 is born. Neither will my parents or in-laws, photographers or newspaper reporters.
-I put my infants in their cribs as soon as they come home. Little Man was the exception to the rule but only because his room wasnt ready. Baby #3 goes into the crib as soon as we get home.
-I dont co-sleep. Hubby and I can barely make it through the night without stealing the covers or someone ending up on the very edge....put a baby in there also and oh my.......
-My 6mth old is currently playing with an empty potato chip bag and watching TV....I am sure he is scarred for life.
-I vaccinate.

The list really does go on and on and on. Its sad isn't it? That in this day when there is so much going on in the world, so much bad stuff, moms cant unite together and at least agree to disagree on the methods each uses to raise their children. At least be polite. I mean, these boards can get nasty! One mom made the comment in regards to an article about the benefits of formula feeding (because FF moms often get raked over the coals for their decision) that stated "since she couldnt find anything nice to say about the rat poison we willing feed out children, she wouldnt say anything at all."

I feel sorry for the first time moms who dont have any idea that its OK to follow the guidelines but do what works best for you. That each person has an opinion and is more then willing to share that opinion but its up to the mom to determine what is the best option for them. I always say "this is what works for me" or "I tried this and it worked great but it might not for you". Others are not so friendly and put out there "I do it this way because the AAP says I should and any other way is bad for your baby".

In a perfect world the moms could come together and help raise our kiddos to be good people. Happy, healthy people. I believe that this starts in the beginning, with acceptance of people with different ideas and perspectives on life. No two people are the same, no two babies or family situations are identical so what would make anyone think that everyone should do everything exactly the same? Its in the decision making that makes us individuals. If we cant even accept the fact that people will make different decisions regarding the raising of their children, how can we expect people to accept different decisions when they get older?