Sage is home and doing GREAT!!!! He came home on November 16, 13 days after he was born. He was 4lbs 9oz. He is now over 6lbs....so yes, he is eating.
No, I am not nursing him. Yes, he gets some breast milk but it isnt exclusive. He is on a preemie formula with extra calories to help him put on weight and he has to be on that so even if I was having more luck with pumping, I wouldnt be able to feed just that.
I really wanted to nurse Sage. I didnt with Piper, I was young, she was stubborn, I was more stubborn...it wasnt a good combination. Courtesy of the flack I got (and the ensuing guilt) I really was dedicated to nursing Sage (plus formula is flippin' EXPENSIVE).
Of course I would have him 6 weeks early and he would be in the NICU for 2 weeks and I would lose those 2 weeks of attempting to nurse. The alternative was pumping.
Ah yes, the fabulous world of the breast pump. The machine with the suction cups that you attatch to your boobs to pull out the milk so that your baby can still reap the benefits from moms who are unable (or dont want) to nurse.
I absolutely HATE pumping. It hurts and its akward and it isnt the most attractive situation for my husband to walk in on (yes, I know he was just there while our son was born, that should give you an idea of how attractive pumping is) and frankly, I am self conscious about it. All of those reasons probably also contribute to the fact that I really am not getting much milk while I do pump.
Because of the issues I have been having with pumping, I mentioned them to my doctor at Sage's appointment last week. His solution was to "drink a Guinness, I dont know why, but it helps" (LOVE HIM!!!). Then he tracked down the lactation counselor and she gave me more trips (dont drink beer, it will just give you a drunk baby...of course they wouldnt agree...this is ME we are talking about). Most of them seemed like great ideas....but not the easiest to accomplish. Here are her suggestions:
#1 Hold your baby while you pump.....really....how do I hold the sleeping or hungry child and still relax enough to pump? But alas, I tried it....and only managed to drop the very small amount I was able to get. Hey, it was either that or drop him.
#2 Sit in a quiet room, dim the lights and put on some soft, relaxing music. My that sounds wonderful...I can visualize it now....quietly pumping while one or both of my children demands my attention, my husband needs me to find a tool that he has no idea where it is but is certain I can put my hands on, the phone will ring, the dogs will chase the mules that just jumped the fence again and are standing in my front yard with the cows that busted out as well. Yes, I can do relaxation in my house.
#3 Try pumping, then switching to nursing him. Well, I tried that one also.....and I can tell you that Sage is an instant gratification man. Why would he want to work at nursing when he has had a bottle for 3 weeks and gets food on demand from that. Also, please refer back to #1 and refresh on how well that worked out for us.......yep, we tried 1 time, for 5 minutes and it wasnt good.
#4 Pump every 2 hours. Ok, so I wont ever leave my house again...I will just pump, then do laundry, then the dishes, then feed Sage (formula), then pump again, stop in the middle to change Sage, answer the phone, start pumping, change over the laundry, do dishes, make lunch for Shawn, feed Sage, pump....you get the picture. I would never see my friends again because I could never leave my house.
Maybe its me....maybe I just have the wrong attitude but seriously...what is supposed to be fun about pumping? If I could nurse him, I really think it would be so much easier for me to pump occasionally but soley pumping, not so much.
I will keep you posted on how it goes...hopefully better then it has been, or else we make the decision to just give it up all together. Its obvious that Sage is thriving on the formula so it isnt like it would completely change his diet if I stopped. It would save me alot of stress and anxiety however the guilt of not being able to do it may prove to much.
Maybe Dr. Miller will just tell me to drink more beer :-)
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A Useless Mom
Thats me...the useless mom. I know I shouldnt feel this way but I do....I have 2 kids, both with "stuff" going on and I cant really help either of them.
Sage is self-explainatory.....he needs the medical attention I cant give him right now. Its so hard to leave him, and its very difficult to come to terms with being the mom who cannot give the best possible care right now.
Piper is leaving next week to go back to MI for Thanksgiving and she is having a hard time with that. She doesnt want to go and there isnt anything I can do to make it better for her. Couple that with everything that is going on with Sage and I have a little girl who has "forgotten" her homework at school 2 days in a row, has been a beast in the morning and went to the town babysitters house instead of going where she was supposed to go after school today. I finally got her to admit that she doesnt want to go back to MI and she is sad about it and Sage not being home, so she is taking it out on us. I understand and I dont blame her. Its just hard to be the bad guy all the time.
At some point, hopefully sooner rather then later, I will have Sage home so that we are not gone so much from Piper. We are driving everyday to North Platte because we need to be home with her at night, but she is missing on my picking her up from school, ect. She needs a routine and the one she had is gone. I can only hope that the week in Michigan will help her to relax and when she comes back home, Sage will be here and we can get a new routine going. Maybe then I wont feel like such a useless mom.
Sage is self-explainatory.....he needs the medical attention I cant give him right now. Its so hard to leave him, and its very difficult to come to terms with being the mom who cannot give the best possible care right now.
Piper is leaving next week to go back to MI for Thanksgiving and she is having a hard time with that. She doesnt want to go and there isnt anything I can do to make it better for her. Couple that with everything that is going on with Sage and I have a little girl who has "forgotten" her homework at school 2 days in a row, has been a beast in the morning and went to the town babysitters house instead of going where she was supposed to go after school today. I finally got her to admit that she doesnt want to go back to MI and she is sad about it and Sage not being home, so she is taking it out on us. I understand and I dont blame her. Its just hard to be the bad guy all the time.
At some point, hopefully sooner rather then later, I will have Sage home so that we are not gone so much from Piper. We are driving everyday to North Platte because we need to be home with her at night, but she is missing on my picking her up from school, ect. She needs a routine and the one she had is gone. I can only hope that the week in Michigan will help her to relax and when she comes back home, Sage will be here and we can get a new routine going. Maybe then I wont feel like such a useless mom.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Changes
WOW...so last time I posted I was complaining about being pregnant. It wasnt that long ago that I wrote that post, however I am no longer pregnant.
Things happened very quickly, but to make a long and potentionally gruesome story short, Sage Dean Hanna made his appearance on Tuesday, November 3 @ 2.39pm. He weighed in at 4 lbs 3oz and is 16.5 inches long. Just a tiny litte peanut!! He showed up 6 weeks early because of the preeclampsia that I developed became a severe case very quickly, and it was more dangerous to both of us for him to stay in, then to join the outside world.
Here is the condensed version....
Saturday night (Halloween) everything is gret....I felt good enough to walk with the kids for a little bit.
Sunday morning - took my blood pressure....WAY out of wack..took it again....still a mess. Called Dr, he said to come in and they would keep an eye on me for the day.
Sunday afternoon - BP still crazy, admitted....Dr said we need to give him another 10 days to make it to 35 weeks. I did get the first shot of steroids to help mature his lungs. I was in the middle of another test that takes 24 hours, so we were waiting on the results of that before making anymore decisions, but I stayed in the hospital.
Monday morning - BP still nuts.....urine test came back and as Dr. Miller put it "you failed". The protein amounts has pushed me into severe preeclampsia. I asked what that meaned and he said "it means the ambulance is on the way from North Platte and you will be induced this afternoon."
WHOA....yeah....for the record, this is the time my BP finally settled into 128/78....seriously.
Here is the part where things get fun....have you ever been on Magnesium before?? I have not, nor do I EVER plan on it again. That stuff was created by the devil himself. I know its needed to help with problematic situations (like me) but with all the technology that we have avaiable to us, can they NOT come up with something that doesnt BURN as it enters your veins and starts to make its rounds. I mean seriously people...lets put some saline in there, lets do something because the pain I had in my hand from the mag going in was some of the most excruciating I have ever felt and YES, I have been through labor 2x now. The only thing worse then getting the mag going, was when I got to North Platte and they had shut it off and had to start it again. I cried BOTH times.
Monday afternoon we arrived in NP, they did not do the induction because I was already dialating on my own.
Tuesday morning, 6am pitocin starts. It wasnt so bad....which come to find out is partly because of that terrible magnesium. See, the same stuff they were using on me to help with my blood pressure DURING DELIVERY is the same stuff they use to STOP CONTRACTIONS when people are in labor early.....make sense...yea, not to me either. Regardless....apparently thats why my contractions were not as strong to start as they should have been.
1230 doc comes in and checks me, only to find out I have only dialated 1cm more from when I checked in. He mentioned the awful c-section word and gave me a 5pm deadline (yes, apparently you can put a deadline on labor).
So this begins massive hysterical breakdown #2 (not bad considering I am on day #3 in the hospital) which brings in my nurse to try and help me feel better. She helped me clean up, wash my face, all that good stuff so I could try and feel like a human being again. At 130 we realized that we didnt have a camera, and since I wasnt progressing at all, Shawn went to go pick one up. While he was one, my contractions got VERY strong and I choose to get the pain meds (not an epidural....still wasnt gonna cave on that one). I got my first dose of NuBain at 2pm....and at 215 told Shawn he needed to get Joy because something was happening.....she came in, checked me and found my completely ready to deliver...as in his head was right there. She called doc, and 30 minutes later....Sage was here. VERY FAST once the idea of a c-section scared me into dialating, lol!
Now, he is here but in the NICU in the hospital. We dont know when we will be able to bring him home, but we do know that he is doing great!! He has never been on oxygen but he does have a feeding tube. Hopefully that will be gone soon, as he is eating more and more and has learned how to suck on a pacifier. The bottle is next!! Then maintaining his own body weight and with all luck and prayers, he will be home sometime next week. I am trying not to get my hopes up, and I am planning on him being there for 2 weeks.
I will keep everyone posted on how he is doing.....my little man is a miracle in more ways then one and once I get him home and we can love on him without the wires and tubes, it will sink in.
Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. They have not gone unnoticed!!!!
Things happened very quickly, but to make a long and potentionally gruesome story short, Sage Dean Hanna made his appearance on Tuesday, November 3 @ 2.39pm. He weighed in at 4 lbs 3oz and is 16.5 inches long. Just a tiny litte peanut!! He showed up 6 weeks early because of the preeclampsia that I developed became a severe case very quickly, and it was more dangerous to both of us for him to stay in, then to join the outside world.
Here is the condensed version....
Saturday night (Halloween) everything is gret....I felt good enough to walk with the kids for a little bit.
Sunday morning - took my blood pressure....WAY out of wack..took it again....still a mess. Called Dr, he said to come in and they would keep an eye on me for the day.
Sunday afternoon - BP still crazy, admitted....Dr said we need to give him another 10 days to make it to 35 weeks. I did get the first shot of steroids to help mature his lungs. I was in the middle of another test that takes 24 hours, so we were waiting on the results of that before making anymore decisions, but I stayed in the hospital.
Monday morning - BP still nuts.....urine test came back and as Dr. Miller put it "you failed". The protein amounts has pushed me into severe preeclampsia. I asked what that meaned and he said "it means the ambulance is on the way from North Platte and you will be induced this afternoon."
WHOA....yeah....for the record, this is the time my BP finally settled into 128/78....seriously.
Here is the part where things get fun....have you ever been on Magnesium before?? I have not, nor do I EVER plan on it again. That stuff was created by the devil himself. I know its needed to help with problematic situations (like me) but with all the technology that we have avaiable to us, can they NOT come up with something that doesnt BURN as it enters your veins and starts to make its rounds. I mean seriously people...lets put some saline in there, lets do something because the pain I had in my hand from the mag going in was some of the most excruciating I have ever felt and YES, I have been through labor 2x now. The only thing worse then getting the mag going, was when I got to North Platte and they had shut it off and had to start it again. I cried BOTH times.
Monday afternoon we arrived in NP, they did not do the induction because I was already dialating on my own.
Tuesday morning, 6am pitocin starts. It wasnt so bad....which come to find out is partly because of that terrible magnesium. See, the same stuff they were using on me to help with my blood pressure DURING DELIVERY is the same stuff they use to STOP CONTRACTIONS when people are in labor early.....make sense...yea, not to me either. Regardless....apparently thats why my contractions were not as strong to start as they should have been.
1230 doc comes in and checks me, only to find out I have only dialated 1cm more from when I checked in. He mentioned the awful c-section word and gave me a 5pm deadline (yes, apparently you can put a deadline on labor).
So this begins massive hysterical breakdown #2 (not bad considering I am on day #3 in the hospital) which brings in my nurse to try and help me feel better. She helped me clean up, wash my face, all that good stuff so I could try and feel like a human being again. At 130 we realized that we didnt have a camera, and since I wasnt progressing at all, Shawn went to go pick one up. While he was one, my contractions got VERY strong and I choose to get the pain meds (not an epidural....still wasnt gonna cave on that one). I got my first dose of NuBain at 2pm....and at 215 told Shawn he needed to get Joy because something was happening.....she came in, checked me and found my completely ready to deliver...as in his head was right there. She called doc, and 30 minutes later....Sage was here. VERY FAST once the idea of a c-section scared me into dialating, lol!
Now, he is here but in the NICU in the hospital. We dont know when we will be able to bring him home, but we do know that he is doing great!! He has never been on oxygen but he does have a feeding tube. Hopefully that will be gone soon, as he is eating more and more and has learned how to suck on a pacifier. The bottle is next!! Then maintaining his own body weight and with all luck and prayers, he will be home sometime next week. I am trying not to get my hopes up, and I am planning on him being there for 2 weeks.
I will keep everyone posted on how he is doing.....my little man is a miracle in more ways then one and once I get him home and we can love on him without the wires and tubes, it will sink in.
Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. They have not gone unnoticed!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)