It's a BOY!!!!

Its offical...baby #3 can now be called baby BOY Hanna. The ultrasound tech today said she was extrememly confindent in letting us know this one is a boy....and a very proud one at that. Much like his older brother.

Extremely squirmey and not horribly interested in participating in things like measurments of his head or legs, but we finally got it done. Little Man was the same exact way. I guess I just always thought ultrasounds took 90 minutes, because all of mine have.

We are now moving on the the name game. Hubby and I can only agree on a girls name, which is exactly why we have 2 boys. I still have my favorite I am holding out for, and he actually seems to be caving in slightly. I wont tell until it is official which probably wont happen until the delivery.

I am excited about 2 boys. I have my girl and she is more then enough!! I am excited to be the mom of boys, especially that close together. I am sure they will grow up to be friends and enemies, teammates and competitors, and most of all, best friends. What more can a mom ask for!!!

You get what you ask for

I belong to a baby message board for moms of kiddos born in December 2009 (when Little Man was actually due) and September 2010. I have learned alot from the ladies on this board. The most important thing is that when you ask a question, your going to get an answer. From these answers I have also learned that I am a terrible mother.

How can I be a terrible mom with 2 1/3 healthy, happy children? I will tell you....in no particular order, many of the reasons I and others have been ripped apart by the "perfect" mothers of the world:
-I eat deli meat, often times with mayo
-I feed my son formula (aka as rat posion)
-I use a bumper in the kiddos cribs
-I let my kiddo CIO (cry it out)
-I dont measure each and every ounce of food that Little Man eat.
-I drink caffiene. Mt. Dew to be specific.
-I sleep on my stomach (when possible). Or at least how I am most comfortable but apparently I should be sleeping on my left side. Or maybe the right.
-I dont wash baby clothes in "special detergent" - I am only SEMI bad in this catagory...I did at first, but now that its run out, I use regular detergent.
-I ride horses, ski, snowmobile, go to football games and have FUN when I am pregnant. Or try to at least.
-I have no problem leaving my children with my very capable family, so that hubby and I can have sometime to ourselves.
-I take my infants outside well before the 6 weeks recommendation....and much sooner then the one lady who hasnt left her house in the 4 months since her child was born.
-I trust my husband to take care of the kiddos. This one really makes me sad...I cant imagine not trusting my husband alone with OUR kids. I didnt know what I was doing when Stinkerbell was born and people left me alone to figure it out. How is it any different for the guys?"
-I take my babies into a bar (lol....gotta know where I live to understand this one :-)
-I dont make people sanitize their hands before holding my kiddos.
-My daughter drinks soda and eats candy.
-I drink soda and eat candy.
-I dared to put my 4mth old on an airplane!! THEN I did it again at 6mths and will again at 8mths. In November I will put my 1 year old and 1 month old on an airplane.
-I take medication to help with my post partum depression that starts during my pregnancies. Apparently if I cut out caffiene and visualize a happy place, that will make it all better. I dont think we should talk about what happens to me when I cut out caffiene....lets just say its better for all involved if I drink the Mt. Dew.
-I dont enjoy being pregnant
-I am not supportive of the need for "pregnancy photos".
-I follow my babies leads more then the American Academy of Pediatrics "recommendations".
-I use a family physician....not a pediatrician or an OB. Same doc all rolled into one. I trust him completely.
-I use a doctor, not a doula or midwife. And I am perfectly OK with medications during pregnancy.
-I dont understand the concept of home births, water births or silent births. At the sametime, the people on the boards who participate in those methods cant understand why I would want my child born into a "harsh instituion". That would be the hospital.
-My children will not be in the room when Baby #3 is born. Neither will my parents or in-laws, photographers or newspaper reporters.
-I put my infants in their cribs as soon as they come home. Little Man was the exception to the rule but only because his room wasnt ready. Baby #3 goes into the crib as soon as we get home.
-I dont co-sleep. Hubby and I can barely make it through the night without stealing the covers or someone ending up on the very edge....put a baby in there also and oh my.......
-My 6mth old is currently playing with an empty potato chip bag and watching TV....I am sure he is scarred for life.
-I vaccinate.

The list really does go on and on and on. Its sad isn't it? That in this day when there is so much going on in the world, so much bad stuff, moms cant unite together and at least agree to disagree on the methods each uses to raise their children. At least be polite. I mean, these boards can get nasty! One mom made the comment in regards to an article about the benefits of formula feeding (because FF moms often get raked over the coals for their decision) that stated "since she couldnt find anything nice to say about the rat poison we willing feed out children, she wouldnt say anything at all."

I feel sorry for the first time moms who dont have any idea that its OK to follow the guidelines but do what works best for you. That each person has an opinion and is more then willing to share that opinion but its up to the mom to determine what is the best option for them. I always say "this is what works for me" or "I tried this and it worked great but it might not for you". Others are not so friendly and put out there "I do it this way because the AAP says I should and any other way is bad for your baby".

In a perfect world the moms could come together and help raise our kiddos to be good people. Happy, healthy people. I believe that this starts in the beginning, with acceptance of people with different ideas and perspectives on life. No two people are the same, no two babies or family situations are identical so what would make anyone think that everyone should do everything exactly the same? Its in the decision making that makes us individuals. If we cant even accept the fact that people will make different decisions regarding the raising of their children, how can we expect people to accept different decisions when they get older?

Your FIRED!!!

For those of you who dont know me well I need to inform you that I am PARANOID of snakes. I am a total irrational freak when it comes to snakes and I am ok with that. I have survived 30 years like this and I dont anticipate that changing anytime soon.

My hubby assured me that while we live in an area where their are very large, very mean snakes, our dogs will take care of them. Junior specifically....he is a snake killer! He will bark at them, get them to strike at him and when they stretch out, he grabs and shakes and kills them dead. PERFECT FOR ME.

Well, not quite "perfect"....that would mean there weren't any snakes anywhere within a 100 mile radius but since my husband doesn't believe that is going to happen, second best is a snake killing dog.

I found out today just how "reliable" the snake killer is. Or isn't is the better term.

The dogs started barking insanely and I thought the dreaded UPS man has pulled in the drive way. I looked out the window just in time to see the snake strike at the boys. Yes, Husker was helping but he didnt last long...he ran and hid and left Junior to take care of the snake all alone. I wasn't to worried...after all, he was a "snake killer"!

Junior barked and barked and the snake coiled and struck out at him. They repeated this little dance several times while I waited and watched. Waiting for the kill! Waiting for my hero to rescuse me from the 4 foot snake that was 6 feet from the window.

My hero seemed to have a different idea as he continued to bark and circle and bark. For 30 minutes. Yes....MINUTES!!! Apparently the "killer" instinct takes time to formulate a plan. In the mean time, I am proceeding to flip out. To which I needed no plan for. Its just a natural talent I have.

The approved method for sandhillers to kill the snakes is the shovel method. Wacking them in half or 3rds, or really however many times you feel necessary to kill them. This is not a method I approve of. Do you know how close I have to get to wack a snake with a shovel???

Hubby said my approved method was to shoot them. OK, that would have been fine and I would have done it except for the fact that the gun I know how to use was in the pick up that hubby had out on the ranch with him. I debated just grabbing one from downstairs but thought better of it when I realized I didnt know what kind of ammunition to use in which gun, and would probably end up blowing off my hand and missing the snake.

I called my dad (in Michigan) and asked him for help and he recommended the shovel method. I reminded him how close I would have to get and that wasnt going to happen. I called my mom (in Michigan) and she agreed the shovel method wasnt going to happen, to close (thanks mom!). I called my mother in law who said the shovel method was an option but not one she would use, just to encourage the dog. Father in law didnt answer the phone.

Why didn't I call hubby...well because his phone was in the living room right next to where I was sitting. Gotta love hubbies and cell phones....I still don't know why we pay for one for him.

Finally, as I was pacing in the house, cancelling my plans for the gardens in the front and side yards, I hear the barking slow. I go to check it out thinking that the "killer" found his instinct.

Not so much. He was instead laying down about 4 feet from the snake.....his exhaustion kicking in. The snake was also uncoiling so I guess he was tired also. They needed a "time out" from the mutual hate and agression for each other. That whole "pretending to bite" on both sides was exhausting.

Finally....hubby appeared in the window. He was ready to kill the snake...with a shovel. I choose at this time to start yelling at him through the window and he ignored me. Rightfully so until he killed the snake. THEN the dog jumped into the game. Once it was dead. Yep...he's a killer all right.

Hubby came into the house and I told him "we have to talk about the snake killer" and he said "What about him?"

REALLY????

"He is FIRED" was my reply. We are going back to my original plan of ringing the entire front yard with moth balls and planting marigolds along the sidewalks to the garage. And anything else I could find when I googled "how to protect your yard from snakes".

"Well, he needed his partner in crime to distract the snake so he could move in for the kill. He has only killed 2 or 3 in his life, he is still learning."

My fearless defender is a rookie.

My husband had me convinced that it was safe to walk into the yard KNOWING my paranoia because Junior, the snake killer, would go with me and protect me. He conveniently left out the part about Junior needed back up to take out the reptile. I may never forgive him for that.

I may never walk outside again. I know that isnt an option but I can tell you the odds of my having my boots on everytime I leave the house is extremly high.

As for the "snake killer" he is currently resting in the sun. It took alot of energy to entertain a 4 foot snake for 30 minutes. Or as my hubby says, a 16 inch snake...but why should Ibelieve him. HE is the one who also told me that Junior had a black belt in snake killing and we all know the truth behind that now dont we. Its a good thing he is cute...and that goes for BOTH of them.


The standoff begins.
He looked to me like he was 4 feet long....this picture just doesnt show it.

No Touch Zone

I am one of those pregnant people that give other pregnant chicks a bad rap. There is nothing fun or exciting, to me, about being pregnant.

1) I find nothing amusing about my ribs and bladder being used as part of a circus act, especially in the middle of the night.

2) The "miracle of life" hits me when the baby is here, not before. Prior to delivery its more like that scene from Alien when the Alien crawls itself out of Sigourney Weaver's stomach.

3) I dont glow. Its excess oil on my face and its also causing my break outs. So lets not talk about it because mentioning "the glow" simply makes me think about my zits. Thanks.

4) Touching. Why do people, friend or foe, feel it necessary to touch my increasing waist line???

Its the last one that had me going today. I just dont understand what is so amusing about touching my stomach? So you run the chance of maybe getting kicked....its not that much fun. Or maybe it is and I am just missing the amusement. Either way.....as far as I am concerned, it isnt ok to touch.

I wondered if Iwas alone in my feelings so I posted an informal poll on the internet baby website that I am member of asking just that. The responses were not all that surpising to me.....the poll and resulting answers were:

Are you ok with people touching your belly?
Yes - Doesnt bother me at all.
No - Stay away, stay far, far away.
Depends on who it is.

As I expected, the results were mostly for "depends on who it is with 42 out of the 70 responderes choosing that option. If I was a more understanding pregnant person I could see this option. However I am not. Even fully medicated, I am not. And my doc says my welbutrin is about as high of a dosage as he is willing to go so I guess the world it outta luck in that catagory.

I was a bit more suprised that so many people, 16 in fact, said that they didnt have any problem with people touching their belly's. Thats something I cant even get a grasp on....just being ok with people, family or not, just walking up, putting their hand on your stomach and hoping to feel the baby moving. Umm...NOOOOOO!

There are at least 12 other people who understand my position because they belong to the same group. I like to think we are the normal ones even if we are the minority.

I will add here that my discomfort does not apply to my hubby or my kiddos. Stinkerbell thinks its amusing and while I creeps me out, I allow her to. I worry more about scarring her for life and the resulting therapy bills if I dont just let her feel the baby kicking. Hubby, thankfully is just as weirded out by the whole thing as I am, so he isnt overly touchy feeling. Well, he isnt overly touchy feeling period, I just dont bother him about it when I am pregnant. I think that is his favorite part, lol!!

My feelings do expand to my family, much to my moms dismay. Sorry mom, I know your reading this. Just understand that it isnt just you.....anyone who dares runs the risk of losing a limb.

I cant help my feelings....and I wont apologize. Its how I am....cant change it and I wont try. No reason to....only a few more months and then I am done...yahooo!!!!!!!

I am THAT mom

Its official. I am THAT mom. THAT mom of THAT child. You know...the child who screams on the airplane for 2 hours and 13 minutes out of a 2 hour and 33 minute flight.

Yep, that was me.

I did it to myself. When the nice lady who was traveling with her 3 month old daughter asked "does he travel well?" I should have said "nope...he is a holy terror" but oh no...I said "yes, he is great!".

Me and my big mouth.

He was so good on the last flight...it was only 2 months ago...what happened to my agreeable, snuggly baby boy?? I must have left him in Nebraska cause he sure didnt make the flight with me.

Maybe something happened to him in security....maybe something in the screening process fried the agreeable genes and left me with his evil twin.

I mean he found new levels in his voice that didnt know a boy could hit. Even a boy child shouldnt be able to scream at that pitch. I hope there weren't any small animals in cargo cause he probably caused them much pain.

Mariah Carey has trouble reaching those notes!!

Oh my I tried everything....I had extra bottles and he took them all within 45 minutes of the flight. I gave him tylenol TWICE, didnt work. I rocked, I begged, I PLEADED. I even promised him a pony but that didnt work.

Thankfully the plane was full of kids and many of them were making noise. Of course, for Little Man this was a competition. And he wasnt going down without a fight. A LOUD fight.

He won.

Yes, another Mom O' the Year day for me...keep me posted friends on the blog world and if anyone posts anything about the obnoxious child on Frontier Flight 222 into Detroit on May 18th please let me know....I need to send an apology letter.

And somehow prepare myself for the return flight on Saturday....oy!!!!

Baby #3 update

The update on baby #3 is that their big brother stole the show at the doctors office. Yeppers, Sage had his flirty face going big time this morning as he attempted to charm his way out of his car seat and into the arms of anyone who was willing to rescue him.

Seriously....I spent more time talking about Sage, who our doctor and nurse see all to often lately because of me and my "issues", then we did talking about the reason for my appt which was baby #3.

Here is the jist of the appt (post Sage Rage):
Dr. M: Anything you want to talk about?
Me: Can you increase my Welbutrin?
Dr. M: Why (giving me that look)?
Me: Well I realized that I am on a lower dose then last time and I can tell the difference. So can my husband.
Dr. M: Done...anything else?
Me: Nope, I am good.

Now this is where it gets interesting. You need to know my doc to really get the visual...he is about 6'3" and reminds me alot of House. You know...the incredibly frank, outspoken and subtle doctor on television. Well Dr. M isnt nearly as rude (at least to me) but he is as subtle and to the point as a person can get and I really like him. Anyway....

Dr. M: (sideways glance which tells me he is starting to tred in murky waters but he is going to do it anyway) I know its early to talk about this but have you.....thought about....birth control...."
Me: (cutting him off) you mean the permanment kind right? We talked about this? Did you forget already....one of us is getting permanently fixed." (how can he forget these things...my kids will be 11 months apart...OF COURSE I thought about birth control!!)
Dr. M: Ok, well I thought you said something about it before but it was an emotional time and I....
Me: Doc...it was probably the only rational thing that did come out of my mouth in that week/month after finding out.
Dr. M: OK, just checking to make sure.
Me: Dont worry, I will remind you again.
Dr. M: I am sure you will.

We did do important stuff like check the heartbeat (good and strong) and measure my increasing size (good and growing...YUCK!!!) and we did schedule the Ultrasound for Monday morning! That is exciting and Stinkerbell will be accompanying me on this one. Hubby has to go to a branding and wont be able to get out of it (unless Mother Nature actually gives us rain when we want, but that never happens) and she really wants to go. Next time I post I should be able to say if we are Team Pink or Team Blue.

Knowing our luck, we will stay Team Green...my kids have a way of making life interesting.

NICU Mom

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. In kindergarten when teacher asked "what do you want to be when you grow up" my reply was "a mommy". Probably because I had such a great roll model in my mom.

Regardless of why, it was all I ever wanted. I got my wish in June 27, 2002 when Stinkerbell made her appearance. My girlie girl, my future partner in crime was perfectly healthly. And rearing to go.

What I didnt except to be was a NICU mom. I dont think any one who belongs to this club ever expects to be a member however its a very large group. I joined this club on November 3, 2009 with my 34 weeker weighing 4lbs 3oz.

Joining the NICU club is tough regardless. However being a MOM before a NICU mom was especially difficult. I was already predisposed to the mommy thought process of "its ok, I will make it better." The kick to the stomach for NICU moms is that we cant make it better. If we had the ability and skill set to make it better then our babies wouldnt be in the NICU. They wouldnt be hooked up to monitors and feeding tubes. They would be in the hospital room with us and not in an incubator. We would be the first ones to change their diapers not the nurses. We could hold them as soon as their were born and not have to wait till the following day (or much longer for some NICU mommies). Instead of learning to sounds of our babies cries, we learned the sounds that each monitor makes when things aren't quite right. We also learn the difference of sounds in relation to a problem with our babies, and a loose wire.

We gage our lives in terms of grams and ounces, minutes and hours.

NICU moms learn how to put 1 foot in front of the other as we walk down the hall, away from our babies, out the front door and into the car for home. With an empty car seat in the back. I thought it would get easier, but never did. I held on tight to hubby's hand so I couldnt turn back. He did the same to mine.

I dont know about the rest of the club members but I faced alot of guilt when I looked at my NICU baby. I wondered what did I do wrong? Why did my body have to turn on us and put us in that situation? Especially with this being my second pregnancy and the first was completely normal. What did we do to deserve this and why was my baby all hooked up to IV's and tubes instead of home with us? Its a guilt I still struggle with and probably will for a long time.

I am a lucky NICU mom. My baby only stayed 13 days. Many, MANY babies stay for months. Many NICU babies dont make the walk down the hall with their parents. Instead they make the journey to heaven.

My NICU baby is still a little guy, but what he lacks in size he makes up for in personality. Little Man commands attention and if you dont give it, then he will just command LOUDER! Stinkerbell is the best big sister in the whole world and together, my kiddos are perfectly wonderful. What more could any mom ask for!

On this Mother's Day I celebrate the mom I became on June 27, 2002 and the mom I became on November 3, 2009. Both taught me lessons about myself and both changed my life forever. Both made me the mommy I am today. I also find myself thinking about the moms spending their Mother's Day listening to the humming of monitors and feeling the heat of the temperature controlled NICU. I hope they each have one of those little moments each lives for. A gram gained, an extra ounce taken, a look of recognition when they talk to their babies. Happy Mothers Day to all the mommies!

Oh Daddy!

All momma's know that getting you kiddos into a routine is essential and at times, close to impossible. Just when you get them focused something (or someone) comes along and messes it all up.

Or in their words "helping".

Hubby is a huge help, I wont even pretend for the sake of my blog that he is anything but a great daddy! He gets up with him when he knows I am exhausted or having trouble sleeping. He plays with him all the time, gives baths, even changes his fair share of non-poopy diapers....he is great with Little Man. Which is why I didnt think having him feed Little Man his dinner/supper a few nights ago would be a big deal.

Apparently he needed more instuction then "1 tbsp of cereal mixed with formula and 1 container of baby food, he will eat it all". Then I left to go pick up Stinkerbell. Came home, everything is gone, everyone is happy and life is good.

Fast forward to the following day....I followed the same steps I had instructed hubby with however this time....Little Man refused. He refused everything. He spit it out all over his high chair and me (he is getting good at aiming for my glasses). I couldnt figure out what was wrong....he was hungry as he wanted to eat, he would just spit out all his cereal. Was it to hot? No, temp was good....was it to thick?....Nope...same as always. Did it taste funny?...it always tastes funny but not worse then normal. As I am sitting there begging my 5 month old to tell me what was wrong by using his indoor voice and nice words, in comes hubby. He takes one look at the disaster that is me attempting to feed Little Man and he says "you dont mix them together?"

Hmmm, well....lets try that and VOILA...we have a happy, hungry Little Man.

It isnt a big deal by any means. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a "winging it" kinda girl. Whatever works is what we go with so mixing his food and cereal is good with me. However it was not included in the instructions I left with daddio therefore it was not on the top of my list of things to try. Leave them alone for a few minutes of guy bonding time and it results in a 25 minute ordeal that resulted in my tasting the baby cereal.

I can promise you that after tasting it I wouldnt eat that junk either without mixing it with something else! YUCK!!!!!