Originally posted on MySpace blog November 21, 2008
I need to share a piece of the events of my life last night. Shawn is still in the learning stages of the parenthood. He is doing GREAT and I love him for loving me and HER. Yes, Piper Kate is commonly being referred to as HER becaue frankly...she isnt normal or sane. She is 6 and they take on a while new persona at that age.
**Sidebar 1*****
I feel betrayed by all of the people who said "it gets better at 5 and 6" LIARS.....its gotten worse. I would go back to 2 and 3 in a heartbeat. I would change diapers and potty train again if it meant she would be nice for more then 26 minutes and 17 seconds.
Last night Shawn and Piper made a "deal" regarding cleaning up the house. The "deal" included her cleaning up the living room in exchange for 2 pieces of halloween candy. Which she did. HOWEVER my husband failed to censor her candy choices. Thinking she would take 2 tootsie rolls he was quickly suprised to see her take Fun Dip. Not 1 Fun Dip but 2 packs of Fun Dip. We all know what that is because our parents wisely added that to the contraband list when we were growing up and I know why.
When I walked in the door and was greated by my blue sugar covered pixie faced offspring, I knew.....she had gotten fun dip (I KNEW i should have thrown that junk away, I just knew it). She launched herself into my arms, smearing her sugary blue face all over mine, then she proceeded to turn and fly (in the most literally sense of the word) into Shawn's lap, where she then managed to land on the back of the couch in a foolish attempt to pretend she was sleeping.
This pattern continued with very little change for several minutes except I was now sitting on the couch with her and she is pulling/playing with my ponytail. She jumped, skipped and the most telling of all that she out of control....she spelled all her spelling words without issue.
Yep. My kid was totally jacked on sugar.
I looked at Shawn and asked him what the "beep" happened to her and he sheepishly told me about the bargin and the fun dip. I think the look on my face while we were both being utilized as her personal jungle gym/trampoline was enough to ensure that Fun Dip will be removed from the bargaining pool for the future.
The sugar possessed one wanted to talk to Mimi on the phone, which she did, in a gallant attempt to impersonate her mother to her grandmother. She found this wildly amusing for about 10 minutes. After that I had to wrangle her into the bathtub. Getting up upstairs was intersting, as she felt it necessary to pull the blanket off the couch and use it as a cape (??) up the stairs however she also pulled all the stuff off the couch with it, so I yelled over that and she moved quickly to the bathroom.
***Sidebar 2***
Fun Dip apparently has an extra ingredient that blocks entry of all parently related noise to the ear drum of child. That must be the reason she doesnt listen to me. She CANT be ignoring me.
Not HER.
WHERE she told me "I am being nice, Ma'am....may I help you to the toilet?" No, I told her, I can do that myself however I did direct her to her room to get undressed for her shower. While getting the shower ready for her, I inform her AGAIN that jumping on her bed is NOT ok and she needed to get undressed. Her response......
"MOM, I am going to be a professional basketball player when I grow up." Random, to say the least. Upon investigation of this statement, I find HER still jumping on her bed (practicing my jump shot mom), totally naked (at least she listened to that part) except for her socks, shooting her clothes into the laundry basket (Shawn could take notes on that part).
Its hard to explain what went through my mind execept that it all involved a serious lack of fun dip in the future.
It took me sometime to Michelle Jordan into the shower (including a last minute grab because she forgot to take off her socks) but eventually we did. That actually was uneventful (thankfully...,no ER visits for awhile), got her in her jammies and into bed. Read a book and finished it AS the fun dip wore off.....causing HER to fall into a deep sleep.
When I made it back downstairs and sat on the couch next to Shawn we exchanged a knowing glance. "No more Fun Dip" he said.
"Not quite", I told him....."5 minutes before she gets out of the car for daddys is a perfect time to give her Fun Dip".
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