Me + Snakes + Shotgun = ???? (repost)

Originally posted on MySpace August 27, 2008


Many of you know that of my many quailities, being rational isnt always one of my strongest. I know this and I have accepted this. When it comes to my irrational behavior, nothing makes me behave more out of control then snakes.

I fear them.

I loathe them.

I think they are good for nothing but a pair of boots or a belt, neither of which I would wear but still.

I have spent my life with my eternal boy scout of a father who strongly believes in the "reptile relocation" program while I support the "run the over with the lawn mower" group. Now, however, I face a bigger battle.

My future husband.

I adore him. He (and Piper) are my world. A world where in NE, we happen to have large snakes that live in the area.

Now, I know that they wont hurt me (bull snakes) and apparentely they are more afraid of me then I am of them (that one is debatable) and thankfully, he isnt a fan of them either.

Now...the reason for my blog.....this weekend we went on a great ride in the hills. While we were coming across the meadow in front of the house, heading back home, we (my horse and I) stepped over a big bull snake.

I trotted up a little, Buck didnt care...squealed like a 5 year old a little bit and Shawn told me I handled that well. We contiuned on and he wisely changed the subject but never did I stop thinking about the snake as I was sure if/when I looked behind it...it was watching me.

The rest of the day comes and goes....and I end up coming home. After another nightmare round of flights (thank you Northwest AGAIN) I make it home. I tell my dad how proud he should be of me, that Shawn was proud of me and how I handled the snake issue.

Last night, as I was obsessing again about the snake, we (Shawn and I) started talking about it again and the now infestation I have (brewing in my head of course) of how many of those HUGE snakes in the front yard.

First he tells me it wasnt that big....they get like 6 feet ( WRONG answer 1)

Then he tells me about the time one found its way into his friends parents house (again, not a good answer)

THEN he tells me I CANNOT spend $1000 on de-snakifying my front yard (seriously...my sanity isnt worth anything to him).

I asked if I could spend $50, and he said maybe...for the entire year (seriously now.....) but a "shell" would cost less.

A shell? I question...???

Yes, a shot gun shell.

Lets get a mental picture shall we.....

ME...completely irrational, out of control, possibly hyperventelating trying to corral the dogs (and kids) in the garage, grabbing the shot gun, LOADING it without shooting myself, a dog OR my husband (whose brilliant idea it was to give me the loaded weapon in the presence of a snake), taking aim at the snake in the middle of the front yard...pulling the trigger from 20 yards away (thats how close I would have to get.....which is about 80 yards closer then I would like) and HOPING I get the snake.

I would probably kill all the trees, take out a few windows, probably a hole or 10 in the walls...maybe some other small, innocent animals.....terrify my horses and dogs, entertaining the children.....lets not talk about where the husband would be because if he is around and I am taking care of the snake, we have a completely seperate set of issues to deal with, and all in all...the damn snake would live to terrorize me again.

I ask you....should I have access to a shot gun in the presence of a snake or no??