The only think that scares a non-believer more is a believer.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a slight obsession with paranormal activity.

No, not the movie....the real stuff.

**Disclaimer: If you dont believe in ghosts, spirits, hauntings, or people who are sensitive to paranormal beings then please stop reading here. I am a firm believer in you have the right to not believe. All I ask is for you to just shut up and let me have the right to believe.**

I have had severeal "experiences" throughout my life and thankfully, come from a family where majority of the women in our family have the same ability. Its because of them that I was never made to feel strange or crazy, but to accept the gift that I have and to go with it.

It is a gift, however it took me awhile to accept it as a gift and not a curse. It wasnt until I was well into my 20's.

My experiences go back to when I was about 7 years old and I watch a dog walk from my parents bedroom to my bedroom. It was our big, white shepherd Che and she had been dead for 3 years. But I saw her, plain as day to the point where I went down into my bedroom to see her....but she of course, wasnt there.

I had a panic attack at a camp when I was 14 because I didnt feel safe and I needed to go home. To get away. My parents came and get me 2 days into a 14 day camp. A few weeks later we found out that in the 2 sessions prior to my stay, 2 other young girls had similar attacks, pushing one into an asthma attack so critical she was hospitalized. The site was demoed because of "ghost stories" and no one would stay in that cabin. Upon demo they found the bones of a young girl who was buried under the cabin I was in.

I felt an over-whelming sadness and anger on a fishing trip to Drummond Island with my dad when I was 19. Enough so that we left early. Once we got home, we found out that an elder in the local Indian tribe was being forced to leave his home and move to a nursing home. He couldnt do that so he choose to "walk on" in the water right next to where we were fishing. In additional, the week prior, a 100 year old home had burned to the ground, taking all the family history with it. As soon as we got off the Island the feelings left.

These are just a few of the experiences I have had. The ones I feel comfortable enough to put out there without anyone thinking I am to crazy. And there are still people who will think that I am a total wack job.

Maybe I am. If believing in life after death makes me a wacko, then so be it. If knowing that my grandmother can come back and visit my children, whom she never got to meet in real life, makes me crazy, then it is a title I will gladly accept.

Lets face it...I am 30 years old...I have been called alot worse.

I am now in the midst of facing the scariest thing I have ever had to face. I have to try to explain to my daugther what she is feeling. What she can sense and help her to not be scared of it.

Its hard because like I stated before....it took me years to harness my sensitivity and gain some understanding. Thankfully I have my mom, and others around us who can help her. I can only hope that she doesnt experience the fear that I had. I hope and pray (yes, those of us who believe in ghosts and spirits pray) that she only meets good, happy spirits and never faces the panic or anger that I have faced.

I can only hope that she will learn, not the hard way, that you cannot share your experiences with her friends at school because more often then not, children can me much crueler then ghosts.

Much of the population misunderstands ghosts and paranormal activity because they fear it. They dont want to believe because it goes again the typical Christian thought. Some dont believe because they havent experienced.

I have never seen a 40 foot anaconda either but I believe they are real. There are pictures of them, stories about them. Who am I to discredit those accounts simply because I didnt personally experience it.

The only thing that non-believers seem to fear more then ghosts is a believer.

The Boy in the Trees

The best and move revealing conversations typically happen in the 8 minute morning drive when I take Piper into school. Usually the first 6 minutes are very quiet (or loudly singing along to Lady Gaga) and then in the last 90 seconds she throws out something out there that I really wish she had brought up in the 360 seconds prior OR after I have had my moring coffee (which I didnt drink until she became 7).

Today was no exception.....

Please know that all names with the exception of Piper's have been changed to protect the innocent....and Piper's wasnt changed because I am her mom and its my right to exploit the traumatic milestones in her life.

"Mom, did you know that Tommy wanted to KILL Willy last week."

"Thats not very nice. Why would he want to do that?"

(insert deep sigh) "Because Willy was talking to Sally." (also insert look that implies I am stupid for not knowing the latest drama from Arthur Elementary School.)

"So...why did that make Tommy mad?"

(please insert same sigh as above only DEEPER and add rolling eyes) "Because Tommy and Sally are boyfriend and girlfriend and Tommy wanted to KILL Willy because he was talking to his girlfriend."

"Well thats silly, and it isnt nice to want to kill someone. Do you have a boyfriend?"

(insert crazed psycho look) "NO!!!!!"

"Just wondering"

"Well, there was a boy who wanted me to go into the trees with him at the last basketball game but I wouldnt go without Patty and Farrah and he didnt want them to go with me but I wasnt going to go without them. I think he wanted to ask me to be boyfriend and girlfriend but I didnt go mom. "

At this time I slow down because like I said....90 seconds left in our commute and I wanted to know how the tree boy thing ended up.

"Do you know who he is?"

"Well, no, but they said his name started with a W and ended in a -illy so I think I know who it is."

"And what would you say if you did go into the trees with him?"

"I dont know...gotta go, LOVE YOU MOM"

Of all the times for us to arrive at school and her jump out of the car, that conversation wasnt the one I wanted it to happen in. I couldnt believe it. My 7 year old has already had a boy ask her to meet him in the trees!!! It cant be possible...I know what happens in those trees....it was because of a boy and asking me to meet him behind the tires that I earned my first trip to the principals office. I told Jason not to kiss me and he did anyway....so I punched him....I was in kindergarten.

His name has NOT been changed to protect his innocence...he is 30 now.

I know I cant stop her from growing up and thankfully, Little Willy is the one boy in her class that I really like. Super polite and very sweet. Plus I know his mom. Well heck, I know all the moms in town.....

But still.....on the drive home all I can think about is how am I going to tell Shawn about this....he has big plans for the boys in Piper's life (or the boys who attempt to be in Piper's life I should say). Some of those plans involve electric fencing, barb wire and shotguns. I really hope he doesnt plan on enacting those plans on 7 year old Little Willy.

I stop my car in the middle of the road (and if you know where I live, it isnt that big of a deal) and whip a U'ey and head to the store. I need a large capuccino. STAT. Once again....another car trip and another reason as to why my children are driving me to drink.

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is never easy, but how come it always seems to get harder?

Mom and Dad were here for the week and it was great. For as much as they may make me batty (as I am sure I do to them as well), I certainly do miss them when they are gone.

One of the things that I knew would happen with a relocation as far away as we did would be a cut in the time with my family. I can be a tough as I want to think I am but in the end, I miss my mom and dad very much.

They are planning on moving within the next 2 years, and it will be very nice to have them closer. They will probably still be about 3 hours or so away, but anything is better then 1100 miles!

Miss you mom and dad!!!!

Sage - 1 My nose - 0

Parenting is rough work. Its a serious loss of sleep, stress wondering why he is crying when he is dry and full. Its forgetting the wipes for the diaper bag and not being prepared for the diaper explosion or the puke-fest.

No one prepares you for the physical damage that they can do. I am not talking about gaining 70lbs or the banging of my head on the wall because I cant fit into my jeans. No, I am talking about my newly acquired broken nose.

Those of you without children are asking "how can you break your nose while holding a 8 week old baby?"

Those of you with children know how dangerous their head butts can be.

Sage cracked me in the nose a week ago, resulting in a bump, its changing color and it hurts to blow my nose (which isnt any fun when I have a sinus infection).

So my son has claimed his first victory.....over my nose.

My Bucket List

Have you ever heard of a "Bucket List"? Many people hadnt until a movie of the same name came out a few years ago. Suddenly, people were thinking about their personal lists. I was one of those people.

Happily, I have checked a few items off my list....horseback riding and staying in a castle in Ireland, skydiving and going on a cattle drive (that one I get to do all the time now :-)

Here is the rest of my list. I am hoping if I keep it written down, and publish it for everyone to read, then I will have that much more motivation to make it all happen.

Ride horses in Ireland, visit an Irish castle DONE - October 2006

Skydiving - DONE - July 25, 2004

Go on a cattle drive - DONE (several times and will continue)

Break out a horse from start to finish

See a real herd of Buffalo in their natural element

Shoot a BIG BUCK

See the Northern Lights in Yellowknife, NWT

Fish for Halibut in Alaska

Ski Banff in Alberta

Ski Whistler in British Columbia

Ski the peaks of Arapahoe (Colorado)

Ride a horse in New Zealand

Go back to Ireland with Shawn, ride horses along the Cliffs of Mohr

See a Wolf in its natural environment

Build a house

Win a buckle

Go ghost hunting

Run a 10k (since I hate running, this is a big one)

Visit all 50 states and DC (got 19 of 'em done)

This list can and will be edited as I come up with more items for my list! My challenge now is for you to sit down and write your own Bucket List. You may be suprised at the things that are on there and the stuff that you have already accomplished.

The Christmas List

Every year the town newspaper, The Arthur Enterprise, puts out a special Christmas edition. This includes a section where all the children of the elementary write letters to Santa or a Christmas story and/or a special memory.

Only in the town of Arthur can you have everychild in the elementary write a letter to Santa and have it published in the newspaper :-)

The Kindergarteners, First and Second graders all did letters to Santa. Most of the kids did 4-5 sentences asking a question to Santa and then of course, their christmas wishes.

True to form, Piper Kate wrote a column. Here it is:

Dear Santa,
How are the reindeer? I can say all there names? Here I go Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comit, Cupid, Doner and Blitzen. Oh I forgot the most specialist is one Rudolph. We have a poem for the name Rudolph her it goes Rudolph the red nose reindeer has a very shiny nose like a light bulb? Do you like it? I hope you did. What is Mrs. Claus's name? I forgot one reindeers name Blitzen. How is it ths year out there? Can I meet all the reindeer. Can I have some costumes and the barbie house that has a elevators and polly pocket set with the dolphins. Oh I forgot I want some outfits with maching shoes. I cannot find all of my dtmins*. I wish I could find them. Can you get me some new markers and crayons the kind of markers is Sharpie and the kind of crayons is washable cran.

By Piper deBeauclair.

*I think dtmins is mittens because she has lost 1 of each pair that she has :-)

I really like how she wants a sharpie but washable crayons.

Best of both worlds

Today we are taking Piper to Denver where she will meet up with Uncle Troy so he can accompany her on her flight back to Michigan for Christmas. This is the first Christmas I wont see her at all. Its hard for all of us but we are getting more used to it.

Piper is not acting out like she did for the Thanksgiving trip....she isnt having fits all the time and she actually said she is looking forward to spending sometime up there. Some people ask me if that makes me upset, that she is looking forward to her time in Michigan with her dad and step-mom. My question is why would it? I guess I can see where they would be coming from, they think that I want her to be miserable when she goes so she will stop wanting to go. my answer to that is what kind of a mom would I be if I wanted my daughter to be miserable at anytime in her life? I dont think that would make me a very good person if that is what I hoped for.

Instead, I hope she has fantastic time! I really do. If she cant be with me, which she cant, then that isnt going to stop me from wanting her to have the best time possible with the rest of her family.

This is the way it is....its part of the outcome from the decisions that were made to move, which I do not regret at all. The life she has in Lansing with her dad and step-mom is not a life for me. I lived in the city, I did the mall thing, the traffic thing, the constant noise, sirens, crime, locking of doors, barking animals, obnoxious neighbors...been there, done that and it isnt for us. That doenst mean that it is bad or wrong. It just isnt the life that Shawn and I want to live. On the flip side, her dad wouldnt be happy where we are living now....with the closest neighbors 2 miles away, more cattle then people in town, the closest mall 90 minutes away, the closest town 45 minutes away. The only noise I hear at night at the cows mooing and the coyotes yipping. That isnt a life that he would be comfortable with, however I wouldnt trade it for anything.

My point is that Piper is extrememly loved by 2 very different people. Instead of looking at it like "oh my, she has to go to the city and be around the crowds and traffic and noise", I choose to see it as her having the rare opportunity to experience 2 completely different lifestyles. She is a city kid in the summer and a ranch kid in the school year. She can hit up the mall in July and ride her horse in March. When she starts to look at schools for college, should she want to attend a big school, she wont have the culture shock that so many small town kids experience when moving to a large city for the first time. She will have that experience already.

Piper is an incredibly resilient child and while it is hard for her to leave us, the most traumatic part is just that, the leaving. When she gets to Michigan, she is fine. She has a great time, she enjoys being around her family and friends. I also know that it is hard for her to leave Michigan and come home but once she gets here, she tells me she never wants to leave again.

She is 7 years old and has alot to deal with but she is doing it. And she is doing great. She is thriving in school, has a ton of friends, is outside playing more then ever before. She loves to chase her dogs, she LIVES to ride her horse, she enjoys helping Shawn feed or cake the cows. She is a great kid, who has her moments but they are just that...moments. Each moment results in the creation of a memory and her memory will be full of experiences in Nebraska and Michigan. Its hard now, but it gets easier each time. She is lucky...so many kids dont ever get out of their hometowns while she has 2 homes that will result in double the memories!!